Fakeship < Friendship

I got asked today, after hearing a few sobs, “what is friendship?” and “me and my bestie (best friend if you are behind on the colloquial language) have broken up our friendship” *tears*. It got me thinking everyone’s definition is different. But mine has kept me protected me from ‘Fakes’, ‘wannabes’ and just pure idiots that try and attack you mentally. So here is my story definition.

Friendship, it can either be with hatred or pure delight.

Friendship is one of life’s greatest treasures.  A true friend will make you laugh when you are down, help you when you are stuck. They will look out for you and they will always have your best interest at heart. But the main thing is they will “Offer a Friendship that lasts a lifetime.”

However the main important issue with a true friend, is you will only have one in a lifetime…..and well you have to identify one first!  If you have found one then you are considerable lucky. In this generation you will both go through so many test, that majority of friendships disintegrate into nothing. But who am I kidding, there will always be that one friend that no matter what happens, and no matter how many arguments you have had, you miss them. They are bad for you, they put you down, and they are fake as Barbie is. But you still urn for their attention and chats for some bizarre reason. Well the only decent thing you can do is wave goodbye.  Even if you wanting nothing more than to make up and laugh like you use too. Because even though it’s not for the best, a fake friend stops you feeling lonely because at least they’ll invite you out, when you’re other “friends” don’t.

Majority of people always seek that one special person, that is not blood related, but they share that special bond and common interests. In actual fact, the amount of grief and heart ache you have to go through to find one is unbelievable. You try and find that one person and instead sometimes you get hit by fake friends, users, heart breakers, wannabes and much more. The world is a cruel place. When your young, your parents try and protect you most of the time " you can not be friends with  her, i have a funny feeling about that family" yet you still sneak around, and think well just because you do not like them, i might. But parents are always right. Even if they are wrong (which is hardly never).

It is ironic as well, because it is so damn easy to identify fake friends. The people that say “I am always here for you” are generally the ones that walk away first, with no hint of departure what so ever. When you really need them, there nowhere in the horizon, but they expect you to give up your time to listen to their problems. Lesson number one, a friendship bond and feeling are reciprocal, so if one of you are giving more to the relationship cut ties. It has to be even.

Moving on, friends will always come and go, through numerous excuses, falling out, drama and reality issues. The most important thing to keep in mind is only special friends will reappear. True friends are “side by side, or miles apart, dear friends are always close to your heart”. Soppy quote but every word true. Days without talking and when you both meet up it is like those days haven’t drifted you both apart. Maybe your friendship is you can sit laughing, then all of a sudden have a deep conversation and you both do not find that weird. I am lucky, I have those two type of friendships. In all honesty, when you become adults or grownups, it is hard to stay in touch. My friendship lasts on a visit day every two or three months, with a text here and there. Sad? Well that is life for you. In my position I cannot be picky, majority of fake friends run at the hint of change or the situation has changed.

Moral of the blog, is if you have a friend that is true, keep hold of them. Reciprocal is the most important key! If you both don’t work at it, then it isn’t meant to be.

P.S true friends, will have you busy for hours, just to get a really 'lush' picture :)

Comment below what you think/ your experience

Teenagers expectations/ reality

Sex education, it is a load of Bulls**t. It never prepares you for the deed. It just makes a load of children uncomfortable, grossed out and embarrassed. Skipping a couple of years forward, we still are not prepared though. We hide the awkwardness in curiosity and our unawareness is bliss. We do not get another lecture or a lesson about sexual intercourse, we are expected to know. Our parents, I have to give them credit….They were the ones that created the ‘Birds and the Bees talk’. Now before any one goes crazy, I am not an expert nor am I claiming to be one. But the amount of people that ask me, what to expect is hilarious. We all like to think or act like we are experts but at times were as clueless as the next virgin (not so much now). So I carried out an anonymous questionnaire, these are my results!

I asked a few questions, mainly about expectations and reality. Embarrassing moments, and the unawareness.

1) The awkwardness of discussing sex- it just does not matter how old you are, the conversation never gets lighter. Especially to parents, mom/dad I do not care how old we are, we can never talk about yours or my sex life. *cringe*

2) Puberty- Everyone goes through it, you laugh, you cry, you either hated secondary or loved it. Prison for the crime of puberty---was secondary school. Majority would agree.

3) Experimenting- whether you are experimenting with sexual orientation, or positions, it does not matter. Because everyone tries something new, so we are not different.

4) Girls, it does not matter on what your partner’s sexual orientation is, and no matter how much preparing you do. Boys for some unknown reason will always be fascinated with your anal! There is no explanation, I have tried asking many males, and they either shrug their shoulders or say "I actually do not know".

5) Girls, it does not matter how many times you actually go through with having sex, you will probably buy a lot of cheap pregnancy tests from the pound shop. The amount of scares you and your friends will have will be unbelievable.

6) Girls and boys cannot be best friends. Its society for you nowadays. But if you want to ignore them, be a black sheep, and ignore the herd! :) I did, and I never regretted it!

7) Letting wind pass- Do not hold it in. Whether you are being romantic, or making moves. Just let it out, because it will come out eventually, but the timing may be so wrong. The majority of my volunteers where females with a few males. Why keep it in? Let it go, and politely apologise if it is noticed.

8) Spooning- Seems innocent? No what they do not tell you is, the guy gets a dead arm, a face full of hair. And you girls get an awkward boner near your arse, urging you on to help the little guy out.

9) They say you should never lie to a doctor, but I can guarantee majority of teenagers already have. *tut-tut-tut* But admit it, if they as you “have you ever had sex” and your parents is right there, you say no.

10)  “Nothing we can do together is ever going to be embarrassing”. Remember, if you pick the right guy, he will not care about what you have done or not. Because Here are the facts: most teens are still virgins. Most teens do not go to keg parties. Most teens do not use drugs. In fact, the rate of these behaviours is actually going down. Such behaviour is not inevitable, despite what the media make it seem.

If you find this offensive, or a joke leave a comment.

I will amend. Share me your opinions. But like i have said this is based on an anonymous questionnaire with 50 people.

Thanks :)

Creativity Dulls.

I have written in a while. I have a busy life, a hectic one in fact. Recently i have started being arty again, i am in need of some new art supplies (excited). Not a typical girl, i get more excited going shopping for art supplies than i do with  clothes. I enjoy more conversations about cars than i do bitching about wanna be celebs. Anyway, this blog may not appeal to the vast majority of you, but it is something i enjoy. It is just a post to let you read until my main one is ready to be uploaded. 

Creativity, in more ways than one it becomes a trait we loose with age. We do not imagine, we do not express ourselves. instead we do not lead a herd, we follow.
Art, it is one subject i love, i really do. There is no right or wrong. just you and time. I have learnt what ones definition of beauty is another's definition of hatred. I am an artist, or so i would like to think so. i enjoy art, i do it. So therefore i am an artist.  i may not be good at textiles, make-up, organising outfits, but i can draw , i can paint, sketch. Imagine. Everyone can.
It helps me de-stress and unwind. it allows me to be me. I look at thing differently, i look at shades not blocked COLOURS . I tend to always go that extra mile, if you look at my university notes, around the borders you will see little comic or animals stories. I draw explanation rather than write huge amount of words that does not make sense to me.
In my previous blog 'Dyslexia' , i found that nearly  eighty percent of people who choose the creative subjects are more likely to be dyslexia. There is no current explanation. But it does make sense. Your not relying on order or fixed rules. In art you make the rules as you go along, and if one day you decide to jump high, no one gives a damn.
So get a piece of paper, and draw. If you do not like it, do not bin it. Keep going, you will be suprised. Being an art student i never listened to my teachers advice (shocker). If she did not like it, tough, it was my work not hers. If i did not like it, tough, i stick it down and write a description on how to improve and what i did not like about the drawing.
Here is just a few things i have done over the couple of months.
At first i started of with paper, , watercolours, colouring pencils.                                                      

Then i experimented with oil pastels, and oil paints:)

Now i love using acrylic paint, and doing wall murals.

 This was my first attempt, i got sick of seeing just plain boring one colour painted rooms. So i sketched out the pandas on a scrap piece of paper. and i decided to paint it. It only took me ninety minutes. :)








This was my room, my second attempt of wall murals. And in all fairness i nearly packed my bags and moved. it took so long with the tiny branches and constant shading. acrylic paints dries so fast, your constantly against the clock.

 we have moved recently, so i had a blank canvas (wall). With mine and sienna obsession with bambi. I already had a new design i wanted to try out. I loved doing this art piece. it allowed me to research new techniques on shading and paint brushes.:)









I may not have the time, to do the amount of art i want. And i definitely do not have the time to experiment as much. Not even sketching. Being a parent , it allows me to heighten sienna abilities. I keep her mind open to every activity i can provide. Me being arty, i love getting the arts and craft out. Most parent cuss, because it is a messy job, and most children love painting anything but the paper. but you must remember it greats bonding time, everything does wash and it is easy to clean!
So enjoy. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, but once should be enough if you live it the right way.

Motherhood

Pregnant&Teens

From the day I told people that I was pregnant, I got nothing but two –facedness, lousy part-time friends with a side order of dirty looks. I constantly got asked “will you cope?”, “are you sure you want it?” ( it, is a baby that is depending on me to bring it life) and my favourite one “your life is over before it has begun.” <<<< All lies!

Pregnancy was awful. Everyone lies even the book published on what to expect. Glowing, silky smooth skin , hair and  Do not forget everyone looking after you, and running around, it was horrific. The only benefit I got was hair that grew like the old Disney princess Rapunzels.“You will sigh with happiness for no apparent reason but the idea of becoming a mother. “ Nanny- 101 Dalmatians , the quote maybe true at times especially when you first feel butterflies and that first strong kick and turn. They will be a bond no greater., However the professionals , well everyone forgets to tell you, early mornings due to a quick boot to the  tummy and your feeding for two whether you like to or not. Morning sickness if you are having an unlucky pregnancy. Restrictions, warnings pregnancy feels like applying for your driving licences. Don't do this, don't do that. you will watch all your friends have fun at parties, bowling and ice skating , and eventually they will just forget about as the the bump starts to show(walking hazard).
Eating for two? that is a myth you never eat for two in the sense of food intake. Food? No it is a very strict diet, no more than 1 can of tuna a week. (How ridiculous is that?, how did the older generations cope). Oh then there is the constant planning around a quick trip to the toilet, your exercise is cut down to walking (not bad for some), you feel fat (even though it is not fat) and self-conscience, (i found maternity clothes more for my grandma age, than mine... so I constantly lived in leggings and maxi dresses). …..
Birth, one million dollar question. If it is not bad enough, trying to think of names and get everything prepared for the trip home from delivering. You get asked a million questions, on whether who will be there at the birth ( likes its a show) and they expect you to be around those two people constantly, and be around just encase the baby wanted to come early. But then they ask if you want to breastfeed, what type of birth you want. Then, what sort of pain relief do you want? my mind was blown, my first child, my first pregnancy. I was expecting help, and comfort, not stupid questions. What if the circumstances changed? then what, my whole birthing plan was out the window. So you may all cuss and shame me, but i never believed in planning a birth, I took it one step at a time.
Birth is nothing compared to after birth.  However the soreness, pain, sleep deprivation, constant agony of your body healing contemplates the new baby. It still shocked me, it was not what I expected, I thought after I gave birth my body would go back to normal, and that was everything done. Apparently not, Can you remember in year 4, when you use to wear bras, and stuff tissue down there to fill the empty space? Well I never had thought I would be doing that again. There was milk constantly leaking from the breasts (whether you breast fed or not), so you had to constantly changing breast pads. Breast milk stinks so your still self conscious even if you constantly change those pads.
What was the most difficult part of breast feeding, is I never got much help, it was just expected, I was expected to do it naturally. So when I started not coping, and I was getting all worked up because it hurt so much. I though I was starving my baby, I thought my baby only wanted me, because I was basically meals on wheels. So if I had a second child, I would do my best to find the right help, instead of feeling so low. Anyway moving on then there was a two weeks constant periods, always getting a friends to check out your behind encase you have done the unthinkable and leaked !!!*Squeals* . The back ache, and the constant pain of your body pulling it back together. Remembering to eat, and take it easy while you healed? no that was never me, the next day I left the hospital and walked to town every day after that. In all fairness when you look at your little parcel, you will never feel a stronger bond of love until you have had your first child, all that shock is worth every second when you realise your bundle of joy.

25^th August 2013, at 04; 11am, I gave birth to my daughter, Sienna Wilson, weighing 7lb 12oz, natural birth, no happy gas or injections or water birth <<<< Crazy. I will admit, the pictures aren't exactly the best, I look stoned, and wrecked But give some break, However they are my favourite memories.

The time flies by, so be sure to live every second with your child.  Yesterday Sienna was born today my daughter is ten months old, and my god she has a pair of lungs and mouth, she never shuts up. I would not have it any other way. I miss her being dependent on me, she crawls, feeds herself, and already she’s trying to dress herself.  It is too much for a parent to take in. Although now I get kisses and hugs willingly, she chooses to wobble along to me.  I have already had so much fun with her, I cannot wait for more to come.

She takes after me (bet you every parent says that), she creative, and some people may call me harsh, because i do not let my child watch more than one hour of television a day, but it has allowed her to develop much faster.

 When you become a parent there is just one rule that applies to all, " There is no such thing as a bad parent" as long as you try you hardest, and the child is content, that is main thing.

I am always told that sienna is advanced for her age, ten months old already walking and speaking certain words, finally full head of hair.
(as seen in the picture to the right). We always have creative days, which includes her in one of mine old t-shirts full of paint and baby first crayons.... Most of the time she ends up painting her self instead of the A1 piece of paper.

So the outline of the post, is yes being a parent is demanding and hard at times, but it is rewarding in so many ways. I would not change a thing . I struggle juggling university, a job and being a full time mother, but it is manageable. When I became pregnant, teenage mothers already had a bad representation ' slut', 'Alcoholic, smoker' , 'hard time partier', ' On every benefit going' ,  'doing absolutely nothing there life'. It may not seem important but it was this representation that gave me the strength and determination to make a go at my life, Sienna was part of my world, she was the destruction of my life. She was an addition, a god send, i just involve her with my new plans. University is because I get easily distracted by sienna when I am suppose to knuckle down on my university work, but hey at least I can put my hand up and say she is worth every minute of my time.

when you become a parent, your unsociable apparently. Which is ironic because i am never in the house, i constantly go for a wander to the town, take her to classes, swimming and play areas as-well as parks. I probably do more exercise now than i did when i was in secondary school being made to do p.e.  Being a parent at any age is difficult, the age does not give you experience, You could read every book on parenting, and still be shocked at how hard or easy times can be. So find your own way of parenting, it is what i did, and i found so much easier and simpler.

"Age does not give you parenting skills, No matter what age you have your first child at, The experience is still the same"

 What I found hard, is the underlying test,  All your 'friends' go through it, but only a few or none pass it. The hardest bit, is losing those friends that you thought the world of, . I never felt so alone in that time.  My daughter is my best friend, and so are my family.

Leave a comment, leave me some feedback if you would like <3

Tell me what you think :)

History...My Hero

History, it all starts with a moment. It does not matter whether it is big nor small. You might not know it but it affects other people and the world. The famous quote that is used constantly is "you learn from your mistakes" but how many people repeat their steps to only be surprised by the exact outcome again?
History, it is neither good nor bad but neutral. Call it Switzerland if you must. A speck of time is a mere particle of dust, old and hanging on to existence. History helps our knowledge and understanding to advance, whether the 'famous' history folks had the intentions to or not, history makes us a believer of hero's and villain's.
There is always a hero in a villain, for example Hitler on the surface is known as a murder (a villain) that killed millions of innocent. However without Hitler psychologists would be unaware of conformity in today's society.
When we are a victim of our own actions and stupidity, we sulk, we cry, we give up a few days and become best friends with the soaps, ben and jerrys and pjs.
"those who forget history, are doomed to repeat it" -george santanaya

The lesson is to remember , but do not dwell on it, the past is what evolves us, the past is what makes us who we are. I see alot of status on facebook about people changing. A phoenix, is a bird decorated with fire in mythology. A phoenix lives alone, from the ashes of the young age, it grows alone, and when it can not cope with any more harm or struggle, it lets the flames engulf itself.....From the ashes of the old bird, a new one is born. This is similar, in order to be a new person, let the past go.


The purpose of my blog is simple, I got asked today of a child no older than four, who is my hero. He was holding a spider man toy, and although he has amazing powers and great movies, as well as popularity. I just nodded in acknowledgement. I was baffled! who was my hero? all these years I have had role models walk out of my life as fast as they came in. Fake promises from family and friends. Strangers helping me. My hero? i would say my mother, Marilyn Wilson. Through all the nineteen years, she has been through so many hard times, and i have never known a stronger women who stands tall and does not utter defeat" She may not have the super strength, or the super speed, or any super power, but as a single parent , she has done her best and gave us everything she could.  When time ticks by and changes the scene, she copes so well, and I just hope that if one day my world tumbles around me and erodes all paths to the known. I would have the same determination and courage to get back on my feet and fight for myself and those closet to me.

<3 jordie
Feel free to leave a comment

A little something about me

Heyy Heyy;

So my name is Jordan-Leigh Wilson, but for heaven sakes please call me Jordie. I am 19 years old, and see through ever-changing eyes, green, brown and yellow are the colours that conflict. Cool? no it is a nightmare to co-ordinate your wardrobe.

So this blog is to introduce myself to my world (it is suppose to be short) , first of all I am a parent to one beautiful little girl, Sienna. Second I am a full-time law university student, and thirdly I work part-time, whenever i can. A typical teenager? I would say so, I take on everyday challenges and have those days where i think everyone is against me. Although I do not have many friends because funnily enough once you have a baby or become pregnant, everyone runs and you automatically become unsociable. (weird right?) 
So this takes me to next point of my life, My best friends? would be my daughter, if I cry, I receive the best kisses and cuddles, if I am upset and need a chat, she listens. Do not get me wrong the only reply is "awww baba / mam" or a ball thrown at my head with a side of cheeky giggles. But at least I get a response.

So my life has not really changed, I still love the colour blue, I am still the first person racing up the climbing frames (whilst dragging sienna along), I still love art, reading and generally just having fun.  SO if I had to change anything in my life as of right now, it would be, I wish I could go back in time and pick the right friends, so I had someone to share my moments with.

Thanks for taking the time to read!:)