The vicious job of being a modern day parent.

Does anyone else feel that being a modern day parent is the most vicious job going? I feel like It is impossible to do what you think is best without someone shouting/ putting you down, and saying in some way or another you are damaging your child.

Firstly, you should never use formula it is the devils juice.  It is the lazy method. ---- but don’t breastfeed as the father and other family members cannot bond…. also put those god damn boobies away you slut.

Secondly, if you keep picking that baby up you will make a rod of your own back……. But do not let her cry she sounds distressed so pick her up, hold on a minute, put her back down.

Thirdly, let her have tummy time it helps with head control, but not for too long as it may hurt her tummy. But don’t let her lay on her back as she may get flat head syndrome.

Fourthly, If she doesn’t settle with anyone else why not try a sling that way she’s close to you…. hold on don’t buy a sling you have a perfect pram travel system there that isn’t getting used.

Fifthly, you are tired …. put porridge in her bottle, start weaning her. She is not six months her tummy is too fragile.....Do not winge then....i wasnt complaining.

Sixthly, then there is food, no food before six months, as their tummies are not ready. Baby led weaning as it is at her own pace…. but it’s too messy and she may not be getting enough so I would spoon feed her …. if you spoon feed her then she will learn to swallow before chewing increasing the risk of choking.

Seventhly, Sleeping arrangements? I know right? Do not let the baby sleep in her own room, but also do not share a bedroom. Do not bed share even if you do follow the strict guidelines…… even if that does mean getting up 509475843 times a night to settle her.

Ninthly, let your baby sleep wherever they feel comfortable……Do not let your child sleep in the car seat or bouncer as it can block their airways. Do not buy door swings, bouncer or walkers as they can damage your child’s pelvic, hips and legs.

Tenthly, But that nursery bedding set it is gorgeous and a 5 piece set... don’t use the bumper though as it could suffocate your child….tie really tight…..still don’t use it as it can still suffocate your child without falling off or becoming loose.

Eleventh, Tv Time, it gives you free time to quickly clean the pots…. not too long as it can damage cells in the child’s brain, turn his eyes square and make it more of a challenge to get them to go to sleep……XXX many hours won’t harm him…… it can damage his imagination.

 Lastly, you need time for yourself…. but do not go out nightclubbing as then you are bad parent.

Obviously the above is exaggerated and I hold my own opinions. If I come across someone that does not share my opinion or suggests something different I do my research …. Factual research. If it comes up short, then I politely suggest them researching.  What does not help is first time parents rely on professionals for guidance, and information is never kept up to date, with them whether they are stuck in the old ways or just refuse.... the most common defence comment I see a lot is ‘it did not do me any harm’…..no disrespect that was a long time ago. Science has advanced, they are more accurate. Also not so long ago homosexual relationship was deemed to be mentally ill and devil acts……never mind child abuse was deemed to be ok (although arguably majority of the population still thinks this is ok!)

So instead of putting other parent down. Be nice, support and help each other. If another parent seems to be confused ask them to research and if they can’t for some unknown reason offer to send them links to read…..factual links. Hell I’ll put my hand up, my parenting methods have completely hanged from when I had first daughter to my first son. I am not shamed, I knew no better and if it wasn’t for a lovely gentle momma I wouldn’t have even thought to research.

Much Love, Jordan-Leigh (a young momma trying her best)

Do not comply to the stigma

So i havent blogged in god knows how long, but in all fairness i did loose my head. No honestly life just got so hectic i totally went completely wild with ignoring this page. Anyway, long story short revision took over, motherhood, job hunting, and cleaning the house. But i am back. I thought my first piece back would be based on the challenges i faced, the stigma surrounding being a teenage mom. I am aware that when they people ask my age and i say i have two children, they always ask my age. Act shocked and then double take. I am also aware they probably have a picture in there little heads that i am jobless, with no financial income beside my benefits and i probably dont know who the father is , and all i do is sit on my arse all day and consume endless amount of alcohol. It use to get me infuriated but now i let it slide, i am hoping to change their views but mostly yours (mother to be) or a (mother). So i written you a letter.

Dear momma Scared to achieve greatness.

You Can Do This!

Do not Be Scared!

There comes to a point in life where ‘Fun’ does not include clubbing, drinking or stumbling through the door at dawn, or even thinking about yourself.

Fun means, wiping bogies, hearing tiny footsteps, long cuddles, a messy house, bedtime stories, being silly and hearing little voices whisper ‘I love you’.

Becoming a parent does not change you, it makes you realise that the little people that you created deserve the very best of your time. They make you determine to achieve greatness because now it isn’t just you relying on your potential, it’s those little darlings that call you mam.

Becoming a parent means saying good-bye to loneliness, as every minute of the day and night you are needed. Whether they want cuddles, kisses or your comfort. They need you, and there is nothing wrong with that. You will never be without company. Something so small and delicate can change your life around overnight, they can create an impact that is so beautiful you are lost for words every time you lay your eyes on them. Their gummy smile, will make your day. Their laugh is contagious. Their love is forever.

Becoming a parent is nothing short of a miracle. Without any training, you are equipped with so many qualifications you though you never had. For example, you are a nurse, a bank, a teacher, a chief, a story teller, a shift co-coordinator, a dancer, a gymnast, an exercise planner, a cleaner, a personal shopper, a researcher, a Councillor, a psychologist. My all-time favorite is a referee and a soldier, fighting all the monsters away before bedtime. Majority of these qualifications you cannot place on your cv (you could but it would raise questions if they did not have humor) but who cares? Your child will remember everything you have done for them. They will appreciate every step you take for them.

Becoming a parent made me yearn to achieve greatness, and because of my two darlings I would not have sat my last law degree exam today. In the past three years we have overcome every obstacle possible. From moving home (three times), to sickness bugs (chicken pox, flu, colds, temperatures), to a second birth of our late edition to the family, to struggling with work load and a job, to family problems. It was worth it, so do not lose hope, every turn you take adds up to something amazing. That feeling of success does not die. Be Proud, every little step you take is not just for you. My little girl has pulled me from so many dark places I would be absolutely lost without her, she makes me pretend cups of tea, plays with my hair, and even wipes away my tear when I am sad, comforting me and insisting I talk to her. Her fiery and caring personality is what makes me proud.  She doesn’t know that yet, but she will do one day. My two darling are the reason I got this far.

Do not let anyone tell you differently. If I did, I would not have even finished college. I’d be probably sat at home on my arse, claiming any benefit I could. But I am not! Do not let the stigma hit you, do not let other people opinions blind you. Do not let yourself think low of yourself.

Just remember momma, you have got this!

You are a super, ninja, cuddle, loving hero!

You will achieve greatness.