the truth about BIG life changes

 

Listen up Peeps-

Here's the truth about BIG life changes: 

Some people won't come with you

& That’s Okay!

Whether it was a couple of days or years -  cherish the time they stood at your side They helped shape you into the person you are today whether it was by negative or positive effect.

You need to understand some people are made to play small roles in your adventure and that is all. Your big events will sieve those people out a little at a time - yes it will be devastating, and yes you will be ok. But unfortunately this cannot be prevented.

I have recently went through this. Me + Huge Event  = a friend loss. This is why I hate equations. I am still alive. How?

Like any good reader I craved the perfect ending. So I refused to leave things unsaid and was honest. I called them out, I listened to their side and I moved on, drawing their attention that the situation may cause our friendship to go sour and I would not allow that.

Each problem has many solutions, the tricky part is picking one we are happy to use and not feel an ounce of guilt when we deliver it.

So from my six years of being in the 'big bad world' I have came up with three simple steps that allow me to live to my full potential;

1) Always GO after what you want, otherwise you will never have it.

2) Always ASK , otherwise the answer will always be NO.

3) Take the step FORWARD, otherwise you be ALWAYS be in the same place.

Simple. Right?

Wrong!

It is only simple if you do not make excuses for yourself.

& that is going to be hard, especially with the world we live in to do with so many direct/indirect social and media pressures.

So go easy on yourself, and fly when YOU are ready.

Really think about what you truly want.

& remember; 

The PAST is there to TEACH , the FUTURE is their as a GUIDE, the PRESENT is a gift for NOW.

So go and live your life how you want!

Screw anyone else!

You will gain and loose people all your life.

Are you up for the CHALLENGE?

Are you up for the CHALLENGE?

Judgement is the burden we all carry.

It cause a fluctuation in ours/others emotions; But it does not stop us from weaponizing the thing we fall victim too.

"The more you judge the less you love"

It doesn't matter what we do, we are judged regardless.  I felt it more when I became a parent - a teen parent - cue the gasp!  Society stitches us up already before we have even begun designing our pattern. Are we a failure before we even start? It is unfair especially when judgement is a shitty action that bring someone down when advice or a helping hand can make them soar. We drag each other down and why? to feel better or is it because we are stuck in our own rut?

So hear me out, a few examples of when I was judged are listed below;

1) Being a parent!  that was all it took for me to be judged by others. I was a teenager responsible for another life. I had head shakes , tuts and quite a few remarks in situations I found challenging. But the one that annoyed me the most was "It has got to be hard being a young mam?' they would speak it as a question but underneath the layers it was their statement. When is becoming a parent any easier? 29 ? 40+? a first time parent is always difficult, your body is changing for the first time. Your relationships are challenged , friends will leave or stay no matter your age. Its ludicrous to even think a teenage parent cares or can do less based on their age. We love too. If anything becoming a teen mam made me that much more determined to sort my shit out...….because if I failed it would not just effect me. Luckily I researched and read loads of CRAP.

2) Going to Uni! Deciding to still chase my career even though my daughter was two weeks old. I crammed it all together because I did not want to let her down. I was away from her a couple of hours every week for 3 days as I got my timetable crammed together. I got judged for going to uni …….. but I would have been judged if I became a stay at home mum on benefits or a working mum. SHOCKER!!!!

3) Breast feeding / Bottle feeding the huge debate that turned nations against other. Jokes. Whether you are a parent or not there must be at some point in your life you have heard this debate. 

those that fail breastfeeding promote 'fed is best', and I failed breastfeeding after a couple of months...… but I disagree fed is not best it is minimal. No hate on formula/bottle fed but science speaks louder.

4) How I parent. I kid you not! I have never seen so many labels slapped on something so broadly. so you have a couple of categories, I am mainly gentle parenting I do not believe in hitting, crying it out, screaming, isolating (timeout/ naughty step) name calling my children. I know crazy right? But everyone to their own. ---- I've lost count at how many times someone has suggested a firm hand will stop my sons outburst. Yes it would as he would be utterly shocked if he seen his mother, guardian , protector ,friend slap you! why would I voluntary hurt my child because he isn't coping with something most adults cant even cope with? No I shall sit and be there for when he chooses to speak to me about those scary feelings.

5) Diet Shout out to the omnivores, carnivores, herbivores, and vegans!!!! Heyyyyyy. Just feed your child a healthy balanced diet and when they are old enough to decide what they want to eat they will. Why judge on something so small?

6) Screen time Urgh like how pathetic.

7) Partner or Alone or co-parent? What the hell has it got to do with you? How does this effect your parenting? 

You will get judged on absolutely everything. The best advice, if you question your own actions then do your research, ask for advice but do not take any notice to those that judge you!!

P.S to all you sucker that condemn us young parent for failing 'I did a god damn fucking good job of raising my babies'.

Peace Out Beauts!