Monday, 13 July 2015

Terrible twos, tantrum threes.. with all the love

From bump to baby is an incredible, endearing and emotional experience that is filled with joy, love and kindness. From my experience after birth, it is just a haze, days blend together, and before you know it you are celebrating your little ones first birthday. As a parent you have a right to feel anxious at how fast time can fly by, and soon you will be slowly approaching TERRIBLE TWO’s.
I hear a lot of parents share their stories of their little precious cherubs suddenly turning into terrible, hard-headed toddlers. Smiles and Snuggles had been traded for tantrums and time-outs. Baths had become missions and dinnertime a danger zone. Everyone for themselves! And take cover, ring a bell?
Yet although I can sit and nod in agreement, because all parents go through this stage not knowing where you will end. It saddens me, because the there is no doubt the terrible two comes with challenges, but they also represent a time of great milestones, imagination and determination from our ever learning angels. Even in the darkest moments, I am smitten because the constant arguments and solid ‘no’ just proves my daughter is finally taking a stand in what she wants and showing me that she has the capability to hold a voice all on her own.
So I challenge and welcome the reasons to love this pivotal age, knowing that one day soon I will look back and wish it had not passed so quickly, like I do so very often.
Ten things to consider when you are preparing for war.
1)    Their strong will, and determination can exhaust you out. But they are leaders in the making, getting ready to choose what they want. So god damn anyone who gets in the way if they want sauce on their Weetabix for tea. Always give a toddler option two options, it allows them to feel in control. Which may result in less tantrums, because let’s be realistic no one likes getting told what to do.

2)    Adventurous? We all have an element hidden away. There's a fine line between shielding your toddler from danger and frustration, and smothering him. Unless there's an immediate danger, let your child climb the stairs, step in the puddle, and they get dirty, it is in their nature to be curious and to try everything.

3)    Creativity? Finding dead bugs in your shoes, or hiding in the cupboard to find where your little one has stashed your tampons for lunch is not exactly our way to express our creativities. But do not forget they are a blank canvas, wanting to express their feeling and creativity in any way possible. Carefully guided it can become a topic enjoyable, otherwise it is destruction and crayons décor on your walls never seems appealing. So I would suggest to limit the area, sand pit, paint, crayon, tree house painting, and sticking sessions.

4)    Two-year-olds are notorious with a stubborn attitude that can discourage even the most patient parents. They can do it them self, even if it takes all day to slip on their shoes. They will eventually do it, so take a breather and offer them help, do not simply do for them.


5)    As for meltdown moments, take comfort in the fact that if we just wait a few minutes, our tumultuous toddlers will soon forget and be over what's ailing them.

6)    Crying one minute and laughing the next. Toddlers are an example of an emotional roller coaster. If they throw a tantrum remember they are still trying to figure out their emotions, and are still figuring out how to express what’s wrong. So sit down and just give them a cuddle. It is our most deadly weapon that cure anything.

7)    From colours to shapes to songs, little ones love to learn new things, dissect toys, follow critters and explore various environments. Involving your toddler in hands-on activities, you can encourage her curiosity for life and its mysteries. After all, parents are their most important teachers, and children make the best students.

8)     By embracing their naturally soft-hearted natures, and nurturing them with patience and gentle guidance. We can guide them to interaction, they may not speak, but they understand more than you realise. They will take you by storm with the constant surprises and determination to suffice their earning of anything new. They will not give up! And neither should you.

9)    It is the simple pleasures that give any toddler the most joy a spoon and a pan, or a simple cardboard box can flip into a house and transform into a space shuttle. Their imagination will run wild, they just require the fuel.

10) When life's inevitable boo-boos come their way, tots often need nothing more than a kiss from Mom or Dad. This affectionate gesture is a parent's most powerful tool, for what toddlers need most at this tender age is love, direction, and the security of knowing a parent's comforting embrace is always an arm's reach away. Self-soothing? It is absolute tosh, which is sugar coated with the pleasant name. It is a myth, it’s a skill they develop when their brains distinguish it. What is wrong with a hug or kiss?]


So overall a tantrum could lead to anything, from a head ache, a laugh, a soppy cuddle or simple outbreak. They are misunderstand and what make it harder is not having the patience to guide your little one to security and to entertain the ever expanding knowledge they earn to develop. Take a couple of breaths, and whether too have an audience or not just remember you are there role model, and mimic behaviour, they need their super hero more than any other time now.


Sweet dreams.

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